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UFO Pilots Sacrifice Themselves To Save Yeti from Inter-Galactic Feud

May 28, 2009

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In a meteoric rise to the height of scientific credibility and acumen, Dr. Yuri Labvin, president of the Tunguska Spatial Phenomenon Foundation, has revealed the most shocking revelation since the Shape-shifting Were- Squatch.

In 1908, high above the Siberian wilderness, an extra terrestrial spacecraft heroically interposed itself between earth and a meteor hell bent on the destruction of the Yeti.

Known to most scientists as the “Tunguska Event,” the resulting conflagration devastated a massive land area, but killed no humans due to the extreme wildness of the region.

Needless to say The Beer Yeti has put the bloodhound nose of our scientific inquiry staff onto the case, and taken the work of the good Dr. Labvin to its next logical, and scientific, conclusion.

“Conventional” scientists ( you know, like the ones who persecuted Galileo), postulate that the explosion was simply the work of a meteor exploding a few miles above the earth’s surface. As is so often the case, the establishment rubes have run into the wall of the obvious, and refused to climb over it and attain true understanding.

According to Dr. Labvin’s more astute analysis

“Most scientists think the blast was caused by a meteorite exploding several miles above the surface. But Labvin thinks quartz slabs with strange markings found at the site are remnants of an alien control panel, which fell to the ground after the UFO slammed into the giant rock.

‘We don’t have any technologies that can print such kind of drawings on crystals,” Labvin told the Macedonian International News Agency. “We also found ferrum silicate that can not be produced anywhere, except in space.'”

Exactly. Crystalline, extraterrestrial dashboards.

Through a series of paralyzingly technical calculations and lab tests, our research board has unanimously concurred that the explosion of the meteorite did indeed come about as a result of a UFO rushing into its path. However, this greatest of sacrifices was made, not in defense of a concept so broad as “earth,” but to spare the Yeti from suffering as collateral damage in an Intergalactic War of immense proportions.

No creature is so cunning and ghostly as the Yeti, yet no other creature sees and hears as much. Common sense dictates that if an alien race had designs on eventual domination of the earth, no better hidden watcher and informer exists than the Yeti. Free from the base temptations of weak men, the Yeti has only one need: Freedom. Incorruptible, and ever solitary, the Yeti watches,  and no woman’s wiles, promise of money, or free flowing libations would ever loosen his tongue to betray his task as alien informer.

You may wonder why the Yeti-if he does hate everyone who infringes in his freedom-would be willing to communicate at all with alien watchers? Broad scientific principles and peer review studies indicate that the aliens most likely promised the Yeti total isolation, freedom, and to turn his icy realm into a wasteland untouched by development.

Without a doubt the galactic adversaries of the Yeti’s extraterrestrial contacts sought to terminate this valuable flow of intelligence by diverting a meteor to strike the Yeti’s traditional rendezvous point. Apparently, the worth of the Yeti’s alliance was enough to cause these aviators of the Beyond to fly into the meteor’s path to certain death.

In days to come, our “Top Men” will be digging further into this case, and bringing to light new facets of the saga. Hopefully, Dr. Labvin himself will be willing to collaborate with our efforts.

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3 comments

  1. Powerful insights. No doubt there will be a heavy price to pay at the hands of the Establishment for speaking such righteous truth. I hope your crack team of post-content meta-discipline researchers enjoy the time and resources necessary to complete the examination before drastic measures are taken by the powerful Science Lobby…


  2. I am dumbfounded by the implications of this war of the worlds!


  3. Any word back from Dr. Labvin? I am curious to hear how your research meshes with his own.



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