Posts Tagged ‘Research’

h1

Werewolves or Sasquatch? NACRC Reports

December 9, 2009

NACRC Report Overwhelms Greater Cryptozoological Research Community

This is an exciting day for all of us at The Beer Yeti.

While we frequently collaborate with other similarly minded crypto-research groups on field exploration and laboratory initiatives, rare is the occasion that we are able to share these findings through our public interfacing mechanism ( for Jeff in Accounts Payable, that means “this site”).

After a series of troubling cryptid sightings sprang up in Wisconsin, we were deeply concerned that the right perspective be brought in to analyze the data. With our own field agents engaged in a top secret research assignment, there was only one clear option: NACRC.

While little known in convention-bound academic circles, the North American Cryptozoological Research Collective ( NACRC) has been dropping”mind bombs” in the greater cryptozoological research community for a long time now. Just when you think no answer can be found to explain a sighting, NACRC is on hand to deliver double barrels of insight. That certainly holds true for the Wisconsin Werewolf sightings.

– The Beer Yeti

OFFICIAL N.A.C.R.C. FIELD REPORT

We were very pleased when The Beer Yeti contacted us at the North American Cryptalzoological Research Collective (NACRC) about giving our expert analysis on a recent rash of werewolf sightings in the Wisconsin.

People are far too quick to explain away these sightings as large wolf or a bear, but it’s this very ‘only in the box’ type of thinking that has gotten us into this mess in the first place.

One of our key principles  here at NACRC  is that boxes suck. This philosophy makes moving a lot harder and Cryptozoology a lot easier.

So instead of instantly dismissing the possibility of a Werewolf, Sasquatch, or Shapeshifter, let us look at all the options and allow science and truth to prevail.

Steve Krueger who encountered one of the beasts in 2006 described it as “Big, black,hairy, having pointed ears, standing on its hind legs (Bipedal),  a snout larger than a bear’s, and between 6-7 feet tall.”

Some may claim that Steve was just on an acid trip, and had seen Dog Soldiers one too many times, but Mr. Krueger was on the job. Who would want to risk a cushy Government job by doing acid, when you can easily wait till 5 O’clock to get your fill?

Dillon Ruder who also sighted something in his back yard described it as a “Hairy monster.” Author and Journalist Linda Godfrey describes it as a “Man-wolf” her best guess is that it’s a “Super-evolved timber wolf that can stand on its hind legs (Bipedal).”

Katie Zahn describes seeing three of the creatures while hiking with some friends.  She describes them as “Not human, wolf-like creatures that knelt down by a creek and drank water out of their hands.”

So, some general characteristics that we have to go by are.
1)    LARGE (6’-7’)

2)    HAIRY
3)    BIPEDAL
4)    HAVING POINTED EARS
5)    NOT HUMAN, but possessing some Humanoid characteristics

Read the rest of this entry ?

Advertisements
h1

North Korea Steps forward as Unlikely Supporter of Post-Credential Educational Approach

August 6, 2009

Video provided to The Beer Yeti demonstrating North Korean post-substantive, socio-political leadership schema

It is safe to say that our staff is reeling from the enthusiasm and support shown by the many people who have embraced the paradigm shifting potential of The Beer Yeti’s “post-credential” educational model. Our demand for liberation focused, cryptozoology curricula to be included at university level instruction was hardly posted when the messages of praise and solidarity started coming in. Certainly the support from some quarters has been unexpected ( to say the least), but our top organizational directors are firmly committed to subjecting personal political philosophies for the advancement of freedom for the Yeti, Sasquatch, and their lesser known relations.

North Korea has been especially enthusiastic in their embracing of an educational approach that espouses non-diagnostic, non-normative, benchmark-free assessment. From our  in-depth research via Wikipedia, it seems that this peninsular pariah has been blazing trails in that department for quite some time. Obviously their “research” is still shackled to more western, post-enlightenment conventions than The Beer Yeti would ever make use of in our organizational research, but the country’s consistent refusal of empirically-based decision making is impressive. While the legal implications of supplying their national university system with Cryptozoological Science curricula are something that our legal department must ponder, we are none the less flattered that our little announcement has made such impressive headway.

conventionalyeti

The Beer Yeti moves the Korean Peninsula outside the box

h1

The Implications of Vocalizations: Bigfoot Discovery Project weighs in

July 28, 2009

[blip.tv ?posts_id=2426634&dest=-1]

Why does Bigfoot scream?

This is a question that has troubled researchers, and confounded the scientific world for decades ( if not centuries). Very probably, science and technology has simply not advanced to a level whereby this question of the ages can be answered. Equally probable, is that a sound answer regarding the Sasquatch’s primal vocalizations would be more terrible and disconcerting than most people are willing to cope with. Could these calls be communications with his bipedal brethren? An attempt to push down its own yearning for solitude and speak to the trespassers in his domains?

The world does not know. Well, technically, “most” of the world doesn’t know. One cryptid researcher has refused to allow the limitations of traditional scientific documentation and observation to confine his probing into Sasquatch behaviors.

Michael Rugg, co-founder of the Bigfoot Discovery Project, has committed himself to the truth at all costs. By all costs, we mean ” at the cost of conventional western science.”  This from the BDP website-

“The BDP accepts the subject of the Patterson/Gimlin Film as the type specimen for the Pacific Coast Bigfoot or Sasquatch and seeks to create a dialogue about the implications of the impending “discovery of Bigfoot” by conventional Western science.

The Beer Yeti only hopes that conventionally eastern science has been more holistically embraced by Mr. Rugg. In the video below, Mr. Rugg elaborates on his findings on Sasquatch vocalizations, free from the restrictions of charts, first-hand experience and documented facts.

This isn’t science. It’s better than science.

Mr. Rugg’s Post-scientific, post categorical, pan-disciplinary, multi-dimensional, meta-research is the nation’s ( nay, the world’s) only hope of getting answers to these questions that plague us. Thank you Mr. Rugg, for all you are doing.

We are grateful for his dedication to the truth of the Sasquatch’s existence, and only hope that he will lend his wisdom and experience to protecting their freedom, and never infringing upon it.


h1

“Destination: Dumb Luck”

January 16, 2009

Some people just luck out. Totally apart from their talents, merits, or qualifications, good things just happen to them. In other cases, these bearers of inexplicable good fortune manage to avoid terrible things that all reason dictates should happen to them. What can make this phenomenon particularly confusing, is when one of these types is on cable television practically begging to be savaged by an affronted Yeti.

For a while now, the Sci-Fi Channel has been cashing in on the running streak of dumb luck experienced by Josh Gates, host of the show  “Destination Truth.” According to the show’s website-

Every week, Josh Gates — a world adventurer and eager truth-seeker — and his small crew of production buddies visit a different international destination alleged to be the home of a notorious, supernatural or mysterious creature…”

inset_about

Sound intense? You know it is; this guy has the shades, stubble, and open shirt collar to prove it. It’s so intense that the chick with the bangs next to him is going to keep that camera rolling come hell or high water. Even a staged publicity shot won’t interrupt her quest for truth. Read the rest of this entry ?

h1

Japanese Researchers Narrowly Escape Yeti

October 20, 2008

It appears a team of Japanese researchers in Nepal managed to stumble across the trail of a Himalayan Yeti. That shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone with a basic grasp of Himalayan fauna. After all, what do we all know lives in the Himalayas?

The malevolent and unbelievably crafty Yeti.

This team found a Yeti footprint because the Yeti wanted them to.

Any expert will tell you that even though the Yeti does burn with the fires of unquenchable malice, he can occasionally feel a condescending respect towards those that respect him. Apparently he took the efforts of the Japanese team as a sort of tribute, and chose not to destroy them ( for the time being).

That footprint was both a reward and a warning.

The weight of scientific research in this area would indicate that, without a shadow of a doubt, the Yeti was waiting in ambush just meters from where the team found the print. Had they continued on the same path, the group would have certainly found increasingly fresh tracks leading to the mouth of a cave.

Unable to restrain themselves, the team would have crept into the cave, hope of a clear picture of the Yeti blinding them to imminent doom. Feverish with anticipation, the pounding of their own hearts  would have been louder than the faint rumbling above them. The empty recesses of the cave would amplify the increasingly thunderous sound, and the team would slowly begin to realize the magnitude of their folly.

Before they could escape, the Yeti-induced avalanche would reach the mouth of the cave, drowning out their pleas for life with the furious roar of a million tons of snow and rock.

Let’s hope that this team will be moved by the reclusive creature’s recognition of their dedication, and heed  his clear prohibition against further pursuit.